I'm the oldest out of the three of us. I'm old. I feel like my mind is 70 yet my spirit, my light is 12! Really. It's the strangest thing. It felt so good to drive home (listening to the "Amelie" soundtrack) and just to think about making a mark in the world. What will be your legacy? What will you leave behind you? And it doesn't necessarily have to be something monumental. It's about did you have passion in your life? Who loved you and who did you love? Who did you reach your hand out to? When you complained or were down on yourself did you realize that you have two hands to help yourself out of your self-pity and the other hand is for a brother that needs help, too? It's about listening to your instincts because as Krishnamurti wrote: The highest form of intelligence is intuition (Thank you, Andreas).
We gotta take care of each other. We gotta give give give. And when we take, we must give back. Even if the world around you is chaotic and pressured and whatnot, you gotta maintain that peace within yourself. And let all that other stuff happen the way it will. You don't need a quiet place to be quiet in (though, it would be nice and sometimes you do need it quiet!). Love is important. Compassion is vital. I mean, then why are we living? As people who work in the arts world, we must be willing and want to share our work. There is a need to show someone our work and to give it to them (Thank you, Uliana Lopatkina). To share ourselves with all our flaws, weaknesses, asymmetricalisms (if you know me, you'll understand), faults, mistakes, &c. on top of the good stuff. That's the risk you always take; putting yourself out there. Placing your neck, willingly, onto the tree stump to be axed. Seriously. As Lady Mac says, "But screw your courage to the sticking point/And we'll not fail." Ain't that the God-honest truth? She sure knew how to sing it! HA! Granted, she wasn't the "good" guy in the play but she really knew what to say! Let's jump out of the plane. And if you get scared, I'm gonna push you out anyway, and I would hope that you would do the same for me. Care. Care about everything. Don't strive to be cool. Be hot (Thank you, Anna Deavere Smith).
Love what you do. Revel and be drunk and joyous in the path that you choose. Ponder one road and take the other, as in Robert Frost's beautiful poem. Don't let your art be torturous. That tortured, brooding artist thing...throw that in the fire. Because I was there. I was that person, feeding on my sadness and digging myself these holes and falling apart every class. No more. When I got out of University the world was still there and I realized that I had to create what I wanted for myself. I'm still trying to do that. I've only just begun (Karen Carpenter...are you there?). The world goes on even after you die. What am I going to do for myself? How am I going to make my own opportunities (a la Lynn Redgrave)? I got out of University and tried to live in the world. Only now do I know what I must do. But, I mean, if you gotta go that tortured-artist path then so be it. If that's what's supposed to happen to you. All I know is that it's not for me. Yes, happiness is fleeting. But, joy...pure joy. That stays and sometimes it gets shadowed by challenging times but it's still there. And you appreciate it more and more, and you try to hold on to it. There are also memories. "Die Erinnerung ist oft das Schönsteim Leben, glaube ich," my dear, dear Romy Schneider said that, which translates to: "Memories are the best things in life, I think."
Let's go and conquer the world! Let's make our mark. Let's start our legacy. Let's have fear but still do it. Let's do what we say we want to do. Let's continue to grow and learn and educate ourselves. Let's be cultured, dammit! Let's improve and better ourselves. Let's keep going and driving and moving forward with our art. With our heart. Yes, there will be a lot of burning and hurt and pain, but that's why we have families. Not just your blood but the families that you make when you go out into the world and decide that you will indeed be part of this jacked up society. That's why we have art. We have our art that will spill forth through our suffering. Suffering is part of life. We all must suffer (read some Chekhov, folks). AND the important thing to remember, we all MUST still rise again (can I get a, "Woot-woot," for Ms Maya Angelou?!). After all the suffering, rise! Rise from the flames like a phoenix (that's SO uber-dorky but I just wanted to write it!). We must still be kept grounded and rooted but we got to still dream AND have the courage to let a dream go when it doesn't take the flight we hoped it would. The Ebersole said, "There's a whole thing about following your dream, but there's also a thing about you have to let your dreams die in order to move on."
I am on a high.
Thank you, Jen-Jen & EJ.
"Be the change you want to see in the world" ~Gandhi
Yes. Say it somehow.
Sing it.
One more thing: Love and hate are easy. Kindness is hard.
NOW, we can: Sing it.
Currently listening to: The Essential Syreeta
