Fine Art House with Marc Chagall

Traum der Liebenden


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Jacob Wrestling with the Angel

Musical Stylings with The Ebersole (Christine Ebersole, that is=)

Currently watching: Little Miss Sunshine

Poetry-Time Cafe with e e cummings

somewhere i have never travelled, gladly beyond
any experience, your eyes have their silence:
in your most frail gesture are things which enclose me,
or which cannot touch because they are too near

your slightest look easily will unclose me
though i have closed myself as fingers,
you open always petal by petal myself as Spring opens
(touching skilfully, mysteriously) her first rose

or if your wish be to close me, i and
my life i will shut very beautifully, suddenly,
as when the heart of this flower imagines
the snow carefully everywhere descending;

nothing we are to perceive in this world equals
the power of your intense fragility: whose texture
compels me with the color of its countries,
rendering death and forever with each breathing

(i do not know what it is about you that closes
and opens; only something in me understands
the voice of your eyes is deeper than all roses)
nobody, not even the rain, has such small hands

Currently listening to: Dreamgirls (1982 Original Broadway Cast)

Poetry-Time Cafe with John Milton

SONNET XIX

When I consider how my light is spent,
Ere half my days in this dark world and wide,
And that one talent which is death to hide
Lodged with me useless, though my soul more bent
To serve therewith my Maker, and present
My true account, lest He returning chide,
"Doth God exact day-labour, light denied?"
I fondly ask. But patience, to prevent
That murmer, soon replies, "God doth not need
Either man's work or his own gifts. Who best
Bear his mild yoke, they serve him best. His state
Is kingly: thousands at his bidding speed,
And post o'er land and ocean without rest;
They also serve who only stand and wait."

Currently listening to: Dreamgirls (1982 Orignal Broadway Cast)

Poetry-Time Cafe with Rainer Maria Rilke

ARCHAIC TORSO OF APOLLO

We cannot know his legendary head
with eyes like ripening fruit. And yet his torso
is still suffused with brilliance from inside,
like a lamp, in which his gaze, now turned to low,

gleams in all its power. Otherwise
the curved breast could not dazzle you so, nor could
a smile run through the placid hips and thighs
to that dark center where procreation flared.

Otherwise this stone would seem defaced
beneath the translucent cascade of the shoulders
and would not glisten like a wild beast's fur:

would not, from all the borders of itself,
burst like a star: for here there is no place
that does not see you. You must change your life.

I wish you a Beautiful Christmas

Currently watching: The Things of Life

Poetry-Time Cafe with Anna Akhmatova

LOT'S WIFE

And the righteous man followed the envoy of God,
Huge and bright, over the black mountain.
But anguish spoke loudly to his wife:
It is not too late, you can still gaze

At the red towers of your native Sodom,
At the square where you sang, at the courtyard where you spun,
At the empty windows of the tall house
Where you bore children to your beloved husband.

She glanced, and, paralyzed by deadly pain,
Her eyes no longer saw anything;
And her body became transparent salt
And her quick feet were roooted to the spot.

Who will weep for this woman?
Isn't her death the least significant?
But my heart will never forget the one
Who gave her life for a single glance.

~Anna Akhmatova

***
to Vera Ivanova-Shvarsalon

The park was filled with light mist,
And the gaslight flared at the gate.
I remember only a certain gaze
From ingenuous, tranquil eyes.

Your sorrow, unperceived by all the rest,
Immediately drew me close,
And you understood that yearning
Was poisoning and stifling me.

I love this day and I'm celebrating,
I will come as soon as you invite me.
And sinful and idle, I know
That you alone will not indict me.

Currently listening to: Build a Bridge

Fine Art House with Edvard Munch

The Dance of Life


Death in the Sick Room

Currently listening to: Bernarda Alba (2006 Original Off-Broadway Cast)

Fine Art House with Kathe Kollwitz

Female Nude with Green Shawl Seen From Behind (1917)

Currently watching: Cesar & Rosalie

Poetry-Time Cafe with Pablo Neruda

SONNET LXIX

Maybe nothingness is to be without your presence,
without you moving, slicing the noon
like a blue flower, without you walking
later through the fog and the cobbles,

without the light you carry in your hand,
golden, which maybe others will not see,
which maybe no one knew was growing
like the red beginnings of a rose.

In short, without your presence: without your coming
suddenly, incitingly, to know my life,
gust of a rosebush, wheat of wind:

since then I am because you are,
since then you are, I am, we are,
and through love I will be, you will be, we'll be.

(thank you "III")

HAPPY 30th ANNIVERSARY TO MY PARENTS!!!

Currently watching: L'important C'est D'aimer

The Proust Questionnaire...? Not so! (He just answered the questions)

What do you regard as the lowest depth of misery?
Not doing what I love to do. My mom's sadness.

Where would you like to live?
NYC, London, France, Italy

What is your idea of earthly happiness, your dream of happiness?
Doing what I love to do, which is to act, and making money doing it, then giving that money to my family and to those in need. Spending time with my loved ones and talking for hours in cafes.

What to your mind would be the greatest of misfortunes?
Not being able to share my gifts. Not loving and not being loved.

To what faults do you feel most indulgent?
Laziness. The level of bitchiness I choose to be.

Who are your favorite heroes in real life?
Gandhi, the Dalai Lama, the Farmer in Lynn Redgrave's NIGHTINGALE

Who are your favorite heroes of fiction?
Atticus Finch

Who are your favorite heroines in real life?
My Ma, Little Edie Bouvier Beale, Romy Schneider, Meryl Streep, Lynn Redgrave, Vanessa Redgrave, Gena Rowlands, Molly Craig and her sister Daisy and her cousin Gracie

Who are your favorite heroines of fiction?
Rosalind, Celia, Molly Gibson, Margaret Johnson, Clara Johnson, Elizabeth Bennet, Josephine March

What historical figures do you most admire?
Jeanne d'Arc, Rosa Parks, Harriet Tubman, Martin Luther King, Jr

What historical figures do you most despise?
Those that want to wipe away lives.

What event in military history do you most admire?
Any that involved a handshake, an open-mind, understanding of the other's culture, listening, PEACE.

What reform do you most admire?
Have we really put reforms into action? Yeah, we have. BUT when we have, have we really stuck to them to make them work and grow and thrive? Have we really progressed to a better society (i.e. racism, segregation)?

Your favorite painters?
Käthe Kollwitz, Marc Chagall, Gustav Klimt, Edvard Munch, Amedeo Modigliani

Your favorite musicians, composers?
Chopin, Bach, Strauss II, Barber, Joni Mitchell, Christine Andreas, Christine Ebersole, Nat King Cole, Dionne Warwick, Ella Fitzgerald, June Christy, En Vogue, Chet Baker, Judy Garland, Tina Turner, Michel Legrand, Lizz Wright, Stevie Wonder

The quality you most admire in a man?
Honesty, communication, intelligence & genuine sensitivity

The quality you most admire in a woman?
Maternalness, intelligence & a sense of humour

Your favorite virtue?
Patience & forgiveness

Your favorite occupation?
Acting

Who would you have liked to have been?
Romy Schneider's and Natalie Wood's Best Friend

What would you like to be?
A healer

Your most marked characteristic?
Passion

What do you most value in your friends?
Their friendship

What is your favorite color?
Purple

What is your favorite flower?
Sampaguita. Beautiful, powerful, delicate smell from such a small flower.

What is your favorite bird?
Doves (is that cliché, or what?), cranes, nightingales

Who are your favorite prose writers?
Shakespeare, Chekhov, John Cassavetes, Federico Garcia Lorca, Nilo Cruz, Mary Zimmerman, Jose Rivera, Elizabeth Gaskell

Who are your favorite poets? Shakespeare, Anna Akhmatova, Rainer Maria Rilke, Emily Dickinson, Sylvia Plath, Edna St Vincent Millay

What are your favorite names? Whatever I name my children (if I have any).

What is it you most dislike? Idiots, douchebags, displaying self-pity to garner "sympathy" from others, meanness, rudeness, apathy, lack of understanding, laid-backness, closed-minds, violence

What natural gift would you most like to possess?
Dancing

How would you like to die?
Of natural causes in my sleep

What is your present state of mind?
Unfocused

What is your motto?
Jump out of the plane. Also...Pray for peace within each individual before praying for "peace on earth."

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO MY DADDY!!!

Currently reading: Cymbeline (Arden Shakespeare Second)

Romy & the Classics

ROMY AS ANNABELLA IN 'TIS PITY SHE'S A WHORE (1961)

Alain Delon played Giovanni

I mean...as if she couldn't be any greater! I knew that she played in 'TIS PITY SHE'S A WHORE and from the on-going research I have been doing on her, I recently found out that she toured Europe in ... wait for it ... THE SEA GULL. Oh, my stars! For real! For. Real. THE SEA GULL. And she performed it in French! How amazing is she! I love this woman. They also performed it in Morocco.

I read that 'TIS PITY SHE'S A WHORE was a flop. But, so what? Please. I suppose the audience couldn't get passed the story of Giovanni being in love with his sister Annabella and vice versa. Hello...of course! Whoops! Ew! I think that's the story. I never read the play. I only know of it because a girl in my Voice & Movement class, Veronica Moody, performed a piece from it. I've always been intrigued by the story. I think it's time to take a trip to Sam French. I'm thinking on Thursday.

So, maybe the production just really wasn't good. Or the story just wasn't being swallowed the right way. Yikes! And the only good thing about it was Romy and Alain. Or maybe even just Romy. I've never seen Alain Delon's work. I can't imagine Romy being less than magnificent.

So.........................I just read a brief summary on the play. You first find out that Giovanni is in love with his sister. He has come home from a long time of studying in Bologna. He confides in the Friar his love for Annabella. Annabella comes out onto the balcony. Her father is trying to marry her off to one of many suitors. She is not interested in any of them. On the balcony, she sees a man to whom she is strongly attracted. She does not recognize that it is her brother, Giovanni. Perhaps because he has been away so long at his studies. Mm... Giovanni tells his sister of his passion for her, his INCESTUOUS (I had to write it! I had to! It's such a juicy, delicious word!) feelings for her and she confesses to him that she reciprocates those INCESTUOUS feelings. EW! I love it!!! Seriously. Oh, my goodness! The drama of it! I SO HAVE to be in this play someday. I want to be Annabella! I know. Gross. But, it's make-believe! HELLO!

Let's give a shout-out to Luchino Visconti for coaxing Romy to the Paris stage (even though the play flopped). He also cast her in his section of, "Boccaccio '70," and she appeared semi-nude. This movie launced her into international success. I wonder how much she was paid for that role. Hm... =D So, "Here-here," to Signor Visconti. Woot-woot!

Sadly, America did not know how to use her (reminds me of Isabelle Huppert).

ROMY AS NINA IN THE SEAGULL (1962)

So serious. That's right. When an actress puts on her stage make-up...it's serious business! Watch out!

So familiar to me.

"For some time now you've been growing irritable. You don't make much sense when you talk--it's as if you speak in symbols. And I suppose this sea gull here is obviously a symbol, too, but--forgive me--I don't understand it...I'm much too simple to understand you."

Romy as Nina! Wow. I mean, really. That role is one of the ultimate female roles. Could she be any cooler? I just love that it seemed important for her to do stagework. To do the classics. To grow as an actor, as a person. And even if it wasn't her first initial decision and she was forced into it (I'm not saying that she was, that's just another scenario), she still went ahead and did it. She played the role triumphantly. Yeah, I want to be Nina in THE SEA GULL, as well. Who doesn't?

From an article by C Robert Jennings:

"For two difficult years she refused to work. 'It was horrible for me. But I knew I must have the courage to wait, to think, to take time out for renewal, to get myself together...It's like reloading.'" And lo and behold, she had her encounter with Luchino Visconti who was a friend of Alain's.

"Parties, parties--everybody is bored and noisy, and they think it so necessary, so amusing. I'm afraid of too much public. In Europe I go out only when I like to go out. You can't say to me, 'Go because stars do it.' I have a bad reputation because I don't do little things which are supposed to make me a star."

"A tough no-nonsense performer, Romy approaches her work with the intensity of a general going into battle. She knows her lines. She knows her cameras. 'She is almost frighteningly professional,' says director Carl Foreman,..."

"The Method, agh, what the hell is the Method? I don't know what it is. Acting is acting. You know what to do. You only learn in the hardest schools--like Broadway or the Paris stage, or with tough directors like Otto Preminger and Orson Welles. To have personality, force, you can't get it from schools or buy it in books. My mother always quoted a director who said, 'Damn it, don't think, act!'"

"She can be as pure as she wants to be, but she also can be as bitchy as she chooses to be." ~Georges Clouzot

"At first Carl Foreman found her cool and withdrawn. 'But like a flower that reacts to sunshine, she reacts in the same way if she feels genuinely liked or loved. Her whole personality changes, and she becomes very warm and loving in return, much like a little girl, very appealing, sometimes even hoydenish.'"

"I expect everything from myself. Everything."

"After all, I grow up. To change as often as possible the work, the kind of parts on stage and screen. I must be strong. I wanted to be modern, hard and sophisticated--a grown woman."

"I am old-fashioned. I like men who kiss the hand,..."

"Anyway, there are things in life much more important than what people think or write about me. I am what I am. They can go to hell."

"I have something better to do than jump from villa to villa and yacht to yacht. I can stay for hours on my terrace and just look at the people, normal people, and the sea. I very often go to sleep at nine o'clock with my book, my records, my dogs, and I am happy."

"This is the most important thing, to live each moment. And to feel free."

Why do I feel like this woman is my twin??? OB-viously, we're FRATERNAL twins!!!

That is...............................except for this:

I call this the, "I'm disgusted"-face. I am oh-so-familiar, too-too-familiar with the muscles used to make that face! LOL!!! =PPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPP Please, sistah. Please.

If I sound like a gushing schoolgirl....................I am. I can't help it. If you get me started on someone or something that I'm passionate about I could go on forever.

I'm such a dork.

(And proud of it.)

I seriously have too much time on my hands these days...

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO MY MAMA!!!

Currently listening to: The Scarlet Pimpernel: The New Musical Adventure - Original Broadway Cast Recording

20 Questions Interview

I decided to answer these questions because I am BORED!!! It's from the whatsonstage.com website. It's a site on theatre in the UK. I frequent it every now and then to see what's going on over there...a place I've never been to! But, nonetheless, I want to know about their theatre because I believe it's supreme over there. From what I've heard. And read. =) The following are questions that they ask actors that are currently working in the London theatre.

Date & place of birth
Not in the '80s and not in CA

Lives now in
A place that I'd like to move away from. When am I gonna get outta here?!!

What made you want to become an actor?
Honestly...soap operas. No joke. When I was in the 6th grade that dormant-gene in me was awakened. I wanted t play a doctor on, "Days of Our Lives," then I switched to, "All My Children," and wanted to be Erica Kane's long-lost daughter. Seriously. As I matured (ha!), I found that the theatre was where I wanted to be. Now, it's really about expression and channeling my energy and creativity. It's about sharing and telling stories. Provoking thought and emotion. Having others understand that they are not alone. It's a way of expressing through another's point of view. Critics and other people's opinions aside, it's a way of exposing yourself without being judged. I'm telling you, acting is my skin and the theatre is my heart. I don't think I would have got into other things as well, such as poetry and painting, had it not been for acting. I also really learned who I was while taking classes and playing in shows. Of course, I'm still learning and growing. You gotta share your gifts, if not, they'll destroy you. I love to perform. I love to act. That's all.

What might you have done professionally if you hadn't become an actor?
I don't know. A doctor? When I think now, maybe a poet? Painter? A ballerina! Ha! Only in my dreams!

Career highlights to date
Rosalind (AS YOU LIKE IT); Henriette (THE LEARNED LADIES); Nena (THE CONDUCT OF LIFE); Cordelia / The Fool (KING LEAR); Caroline (CHAINED, an original one-act by a grad student)

Favourite playwrights
Shakespeare, Chekhov, Lorca, Mary Zimmerman, Nilo Cruz, Sarah Kane, Maria Irene Fornes, Tony Kushner, Douglas Carter Beane, Tom Stoppard

Favourite directors
Karen Hensel, Svetlana Efremova, Larry Biederman

Favourite co-stars
Frank Astran, Leona Britton, Kristin Gedney, Logan Sledge, Aimee Guichard, Kevin Beatty, Hattie Davis

What was the first thing you saw on stage that had a big impact on you? And the last?
The first that I can think of was, "The Nutcracker." I remember sitting in my seat, excited and anxious. I remember when the canon exploded. I got chills up my spine. I remember thinking, "I want to do that but I'm too scared and shy..." The last thing I saw that hit me was, "Bridge & Tunnel," Sarah Jones' one-woman show. I could have watched her embody all those characters she played all day. Oh! I have to add the Kirov ballet's ROMEO AND JULIET. Do you know how good it is to see a play through dance/movement? Things become so much clearer. Movement and music...you can usually find the answers in there if you're stuck with a role, I believe.

If you could swap places with one person (living or dead) for a day, who would it be?
Right now, at this very moment...Elena Bazhenova. She is a principal character artist in the Kirov Ballet. I want to be her on a performance day of ROMEO AND JULIET just so I could do the scene she does after Tybalt dies. My favorite part in the whole ballet.

Favourite holiday destinations
Sadly, contrary to what people may think...I haven't travelled much. So, I'm not sure about my favourite holiday destination. New York? The Philippines because of my family? I'd love to be able to say: London, France, Italy...

Favourite books
When the Elephants Dance by Tess Uriza Holthe; The Alchemist by Paolo Coelho; Letters to a Young Poet by Rainer Maria Rilke; Letters to a Young Artist by Anna Deavere Smith; Art & Fear by David Bayles and Ted Orland; The Empty Space by Peter Brook

Favourite after-show haunts
I'm pretty boring, actually. I just go home. But if I get to hang out with a friend or two afterwards...Starbucks. I know, so uninventive. I'm a simple girl. Ha!

Do you prefer acting on stage or screen?
Well, I don't have experience on screen, yet. BUT, I did have an acting-for-the-camera class which I didn't really like. I don't know if my face is for the screen. The stage is where my heart is. But, I'd love to work in all mediums.

What would you advise the government to secure the future of American theatre?
I'm not an expert but I'm also not blind to say that the theatre needs money. I would rather put money into a show that ends up bombing than put money into making bombs that kill people in ailing countries. I'll put my money into seeing a bad show...any day.

Why did you want to accept the role of Germaine in PICASSO AT THE LAPIN AGILE?
Well, so that I could keep on working and not be absent from the stage. It's a good role in a good play by Steve Martin. This will be my first time at playing a "woman." I'm usually playing the roles like Suzanne (the ingenue role in the play). It's nice to get this kind of meat. Don't get me wrong, though...I'm not as confident as I sound! I'm scared but I'm still gonna do it!

How did you research the role? Did you draw on any aspects of your own character or experiences?
I found out that Germaine was actually a real woman in Picasso's life. A femme fatale that broke the heart of one of Picasso's good friends. She also ended up marrying another one of Picasso's good friends. She is in that painting, "At the Lapin Agile." I'm gathering little things here and there about her. But, this role isn't exactly a biography on her because the bits I've discovered so far aren't really depicted in the play. We haven't started officially yet. We'll be starting next week. I think I'll have to draw on my maturity-level and "worldliness," for this role. She is much more experienced than I am, if you know what I mean...

I'm such a nerd. I do a lot of research that I sometimes get bombarded with how much there is. But, there is a point where you really need to throw the research away and the only time you go back to it is when you are stuck. You still have your imagination and creative-lifeblood. There is a balance that must be met. Do your homework, yes...but also bring yourself to the plate as well. It can't all be cerebal. Then, I'm afraid, it would just be boring and more about, "Ooooooooh, look at how smart I am." "Look at all the research I have done. Aren't you impressed?" It shouldn't be about that. Plus, no one cares how hard you work. They want it to look effortless up there. You've got to have fun. Don't get up there all torturous and jazz... I'm way off the subject now, aren't I? Yeah...

What are the biggest challenges of this production for you?
I think because I can seem to be so poised and polished...I'm going to have to rough her up a bit. Does that make sense? She is very intelligent and knows what she's talking about...but it's like street-sense. She's not a ballerina in the way she holds herself. Maybe she's more like Eliza Doolittle in the beginning of MY FAIR LADY, physically. She's not a "lady." She's a bar-maid! We'll see when I get into rehearsals. We've had a minor setback with actors' schedules and the like. We were supposed to open this month but things changed and now they have been cleared up and we're set for a January opening. Unfortunately, we only have 3 performances of the show. But at least we have them.

What roles would you most like to play still?
I'd like to tackle Rosalind (AS YOU LIKE IT) again and again and again. Nina from THE SEA GULL. Anyone from Chekhov, really. I'd actually want someone to adapt the film, "Amelie," into a play (not a musical) so that I could play Amelie. Desdemona, Cordelia and The Fool (KING LEAR) again, Opehlia. As with Chekhov…anyone in Shakespeare! Musically, Clara in THE LIGHT IN THE PIAZZA, Emmie in CAROLINE, OR CHANGE. There's just too many! Ha! I'd love to originate roles in plays and musicals, as well.

What are your future plans?
Well, right now, I'm waiting for PICASSO to start so that I can sink my teeth into it! I cannot wait. I'd like to start ballet lessons with a woman I just met, Galina Barinova, who was a dancer in the Bolshoi Ballet. She retired 10 years ago but she doesn't look like she's retired! I'd also like to take another class with my mentor, Karen Hensel. I'm looking at European classical acting programs. I'd also like to meet Judy Blazer and see if I could take voice lessons from her. Another one I'd like to meet is, Peter Brook. I'd like to work at the theatre he built in France, Bouffes du Nord. Also, if ever When the Elephants Dance was turned into a play or screenplay…I'd love to be involved in that project.

Currently listening to: Grey Gardens (2006 Off-Broadway Cast)

Let's go out and conquer the world with our love and our art!

If you're ever lucky enough...no...blessed to have those certain people in your life that you can go to a cafe with and just talk and talk and talk, and let the time go by, and afterwards feel like you can go out and take on the world...NEVER LET THEM GO! It's like a drug. That feeling of euphoria and that you can make anything happen, and who cares if you're a fool...you just go and believe and love. When you put those kinds of people together, and they just happen to be into the arts as yourself...NEVER LET THEM GO! Your mind starts racing. Y'all get on the same wave and just ride it, and the conversation goes from crazy French films that one of you should never watch to organizing a scheme to take magazine articles from the library as if it were a crime; to realizing that practice does make perfect and that talent can only take you so far; to being an art model and being nude in front of painters just because it's something that only a small amount of people do truly for themselves. I swear, the three of us came out of that cafe fully energized (sure, it could have been the vanilla chai lattes and the cafe francais...shut up!) and wanting to go dancing!

I'm the oldest out of the three of us. I'm old. I feel like my mind is 70 yet my spirit, my light is 12! Really. It's the strangest thing. It felt so good to drive home (listening to the "Amelie" soundtrack) and just to think about making a mark in the world. What will be your legacy? What will you leave behind you? And it doesn't necessarily have to be something monumental. It's about did you have passion in your life? Who loved you and who did you love? Who did you reach your hand out to? When you complained or were down on yourself did you realize that you have two hands to help yourself out of your self-pity and the other hand is for a brother that needs help, too? It's about listening to your instincts because as Krishnamurti wrote: The highest form of intelligence is intuition (Thank you, Andreas).

We gotta take care of each other. We gotta give give give. And when we take, we must give back. Even if the world around you is chaotic and pressured and whatnot, you gotta maintain that peace within yourself. And let all that other stuff happen the way it will. You don't need a quiet place to be quiet in (though, it would be nice and sometimes you do need it quiet!). Love is important. Compassion is vital. I mean, then why are we living? As people who work in the arts world, we must be willing and want to share our work. There is a need to show someone our work and to give it to them (Thank you, Uliana Lopatkina). To share ourselves with all our flaws, weaknesses, asymmetricalisms (if you know me, you'll understand), faults, mistakes, &c. on top of the good stuff. That's the risk you always take; putting yourself out there. Placing your neck, willingly, onto the tree stump to be axed. Seriously. As Lady Mac says, "But screw your courage to the sticking point/And we'll not fail." Ain't that the God-honest truth? She sure knew how to sing it! HA! Granted, she wasn't the "good" guy in the play but she really knew what to say! Let's jump out of the plane. And if you get scared, I'm gonna push you out anyway, and I would hope that you would do the same for me. Care. Care about everything. Don't strive to be cool. Be hot (Thank you, Anna Deavere Smith).

Love what you do. Revel and be drunk and joyous in the path that you choose. Ponder one road and take the other, as in Robert Frost's beautiful poem. Don't let your art be torturous. That tortured, brooding artist thing...throw that in the fire. Because I was there. I was that person, feeding on my sadness and digging myself these holes and falling apart every class. No more. When I got out of University the world was still there and I realized that I had to create what I wanted for myself. I'm still trying to do that. I've only just begun (Karen Carpenter...are you there?). The world goes on even after you die. What am I going to do for myself? How am I going to make my own opportunities (a la Lynn Redgrave)? I got out of University and tried to live in the world. Only now do I know what I must do. But, I mean, if you gotta go that tortured-artist path then so be it. If that's what's supposed to happen to you. All I know is that it's not for me. Yes, happiness is fleeting. But, joy...pure joy. That stays and sometimes it gets shadowed by challenging times but it's still there. And you appreciate it more and more, and you try to hold on to it. There are also memories. "Die Erinnerung ist oft das Schönsteim Leben, glaube ich," my dear, dear Romy Schneider said that, which translates to: "Memories are the best things in life, I think."

Let's go and conquer the world! Let's make our mark. Let's start our legacy. Let's have fear but still do it. Let's do what we say we want to do. Let's continue to grow and learn and educate ourselves. Let's be cultured, dammit! Let's improve and better ourselves. Let's keep going and driving and moving forward with our art. With our heart. Yes, there will be a lot of burning and hurt and pain, but that's why we have families. Not just your blood but the families that you make when you go out into the world and decide that you will indeed be part of this jacked up society. That's why we have art. We have our art that will spill forth through our suffering. Suffering is part of life. We all must suffer (read some Chekhov, folks). AND the important thing to remember, we all MUST still rise again (can I get a, "Woot-woot," for Ms Maya Angelou?!). After all the suffering, rise! Rise from the flames like a phoenix (that's SO uber-dorky but I just wanted to write it!). We must still be kept grounded and rooted but we got to still dream AND have the courage to let a dream go when it doesn't take the flight we hoped it would. The Ebersole said, "There's a whole thing about following your dream, but there's also a thing about you have to let your dreams die in order to move on."

I am on a high.

Thank you, Jen-Jen & EJ.

"Be the change you want to see in the world" ~Gandhi

Yes. Say it somehow.

Sing it.

One more thing: Love and hate are easy. Kindness is hard.

NOW, we can: Sing it.

Currently listening to: The Essential Syreeta