...Glow...? and The Pearl

A remarkable thing happened to me during my wind-down after my work-out. I do one more sun salutation before going into final stretches and elongations of my body, then end with a meditation (if you can call it that). As I was coming up from my resting pose, my eyes closed, there came from my mind's eye this bright light. The kind of light that shows up when you've looked into the sun. And then it seemed to halo around my head and for a second, I thought that the room was full of glowing light. I opened my eyes in amazement and almost started to tear up. Which was followed by confusion and seconds of wonder at what just happened. Beats me why I became skeptical. I suppose that's what NY does to you...makes you jaded, cynical and always questioning (though, I was always questioning before I came here!). I also noticed that heat was emanating from my hands and from my orange chakra (when I was back in college in movement class, we did a session working with our chakras. When class ended, one of my classmates said that my green chakra was powerful. At that time, we learned the green chakra was where our sexual organs were. I would NEVER have thought someone would EVER say that to me. It was a shock. I write this because it is the orange chakra which we thought was the green. It is related to emotion, sexuality and creativity. Hm...nice.).

Earlier today, I had an audition at the Pearl Theatre Company for 2 of their shows which will start off their season: OEDIPUS AT COLONUS and NATHAN THE WISE. I auditioned for the Pearl in late March. I did alright. Not bad. Could have done better (as always). This audition went very well and I really was taken with my auditioners. They were kind and supportive. It was an energy and the way I was spoken to. They had me read for Polynices (in OEDIPUS... - yes, Polynices is the BROTHER of Antigone. A female is playing that role) and Rachel (in NATHAN...). They need understudies for both roles. I was pretty nervous going in. I was almost late; I made it by 3 minutes. *whew* Once I got off the train, it was as if an outfit of nerves draped over me. My God. I couldn't walk. I was weak-knee'd. My arms were weak. It was strange. The guy I read with was a good guy. I liked him. He was onstage with me and I felt we were on the same wavelength. That's always nice!

I've discovered it's easier to let go of auditions these days, not completely, but I don't get my hopes up. I'm grounded in my own reality.

I've recounted some of my auditions whilst living here in NY. I think I have all of them, but there may be some that I've missed...or not:

• for a short film (I got a call for this audition as I was waiting for my plane to take me to NY. I auditioned the next evening. I was cast, but I let it go because I didn't have a good energy from the guy. Not that he was a creep...just something)
• for The Shakespeare Theatre of New Jersey (for their tours of A MIDSUMMER NIGHT'S DREAM and ROMEO & JULIET. And not for roles that you would expect me to auditon for: Titania - what?!!! and Lady Capulet - eh?!!! I did very well at this one and I enjoyed my reader)
• for a management company: Baker Management (I had to read a commercial for Columbo yogurt - GOD! and then I had to do a monologue. I did not prepare because they told I didn't have to. Mistake. This one wasn't a good one. But, I learned, as usual!)
• for Primary Stages Advanced Scene Study (I got in and got a scholarship)
• for HB Studio (I got into the Shakespeare class. After my monologue, the teacher exclaimed a question, "Was that JOAN?!!!" I loved my teacher)
• for The Pearl Theatre Company (it was a general audition in which I performed 2 Joan monologue's: Shakespeare's and Shaw's)
• for WEST SIDE STORY (I didn't get seen. They cut me. Can you believe that? I was so angry, it was a healthy anger where I said to myself, "Where's the next audition? I'm ready.")
• for The Acting Company (I was AWFUL!!! HAHAHA!!!)
• for SPF (The Public Theater's summer festival founded by Arielle Tepper. I didn't get seen and was down about that)
• for EYES FOR CONSUELA (I had a great auditon. I got called-back)
• for THE SEA GULL (I learned a lot from this one, mainly that I could even go bigger. To think...I could have been understudying Nina and Masha, and watching Kristin Scott Thomas from the wings)
• for MARISOL (I performed my newest monologue - which I love - and kicked ass with it. I got called-back)
• for AUGUST: OSAGE COUNTY (don't ask. I was awful. But...after that audition I set out to find more earthy monologues for my repertoire)
• for a short film through Metrofilms (the title of the short was, "The Panty Pantry," I did not know that until I got the script at the audition. The script ended up being cutely clever. I kicked major ass in that one and got cast. I had to give it up because of scheduling conflicts)
• for the seasons of The Public Theater, Playwrights Horizons and Second Stage Theatre (I didn't get seen. Poo)
• for the Pearl, again (OEDIPUS AT COLONUS & NATHAN THE WISE)

You know...I've got to be an Olympian in this acting scene. With these auditions, that's how I gotta think. I'm an Olympic auditioner! HA!!!!

Currently reading: FEMALE BRANDO: The Legend of Kim Stanley by Jon Krampner